REMEMBRANCE

My father passed away a couple weeks ago. And how does that relate to weddings? Death, like marriage, is one of those pivotal moments in your life. And like a wedding, it is a time when people come together not just physically, sometimes from great distances, but emotionally as well. It's when you experience great change, reflect on wonderful memories and engage in various rituals. It's hopefully when everyone involved in the planning will readily work together effectively and selflessly. And it is a time to be truly grateful for the family and friends still in your life. In other words...

Don't forget how very special your family, soon to be family and friends are.
Do take a moment to let them know how important they are to you.

Planning any event can be a stressful time for many reasons. There are budget constraints, taste differences, logistical problems. There seems to be a never ending list of decisions to make and each one affects all the others. In spite of all this try to keep your perspective and your poise. Even though presently your wedding is your main priority, one day it will be behind you. And afterwards what will remain are the people around you - and more specifically with regards to a wedding, your fiancé!

And when your day finally does arrive I always tell my brides - let go of any and all worries. You've worked hard to prepare and have hired vendors to carry out all the various functions of your party. Let them do their jobs. Relax. It's time for you to enjoy your day! Enjoy the festivities (even if there are any missteps with the plans no one but you will notice). Enjoy seeing those important people in your life all together to celebrate with you. And most importantly, be happy that you are marrying the person you love most!

But, while we're on the subject – it's very difficult for brides and grooms who have lost someone close to them before their wedding. It is saddening that that person will not be able to attend such an important event in their lives. So sometimes it is helpful to incorporate a little remembrance within the celebration. It could be as subtle as a significant flower included in the bride's bouquet. Or perhaps a picture in a locket tied around the stems of the bouquet. Once we hid a loved one's handkerchief under the ribbon wrapping the bouquet, a sweet, sentimental touch that only the bride knew about. Maybe setting a special table or a mantle with pictures decorated with flowers and candles would be a nice homage. Or even just simply some heartfelt words at a key moment. Whatever feels right to you is the best remembrance.